Tilo ngwana Rashaka Mokgopo
Dating is supposed to be fun and romantic. It goes beyond playing the adult game between the sheets to knowing your partner well. To understand what your other half likes, what makes them laugh etc.
As much as people appreciate it when their partners call and text them to ask how their day is going, however I doubt there is anyone who would like to have a partner texting 50 messages in 10 minutes or leaving endless voice messages. That’s obsession and obsession is illness. If not careful, it could escalate to abuse and stalking.
If your partner is obsessive and always wants to know your whereabouts and will even go to the extent of leaving 100 missed calls or try calling your close friends and relatives if they can’t get hold of you, it is clear your partner suffers from a Zodwa (Xoli Zondi) syndrome.
You know your partner is a Zodwa when s/he suffers from low self esteem. They always want to be around you. Want to know who phoned you. Want to know that person you took a picture with. Hold hands and kiss in public. They’ll even ask, “Baby, put me as your profile picture across all your social media platforms.”
We have a lot of Rachels (Lesego Marakalla) out there. They are usually girls. They are so narrow minded. They are always chasing after their boyfriends. They don’t think of their future. They’ll even lie at work, or skip going to school or miss many other important appointments only to be with the boyfriend.
They think of themselves as ‘Mrs.’ They fail to see reason. They’ll do whatever it takes to please the boyfriend. Some even go to the extent of deliberately falling pregnant with the aim of caging him. They play a dangerous game. They will do whatever it takes to eliminate competition. If they ever hear the words “I no longer love you,” they could end their lives right away. As Nimrod puts it, they don’t know their self worth.
Are you associated with a Matshidiso (Buhle Samuels)? These ones know you are already taken by somebody else. They know your partner, your family but they don’t care. They want you. They want to be in a serious relationship with you. They hate polygamy or sharing with passion. They want you all to themselves. This simply means you should break up with your partner and be with them alone.
As a guy, you don’t have to kneel down and say ‘I love you’ or ‘will you marry me?’ Already in their minds they have visualized a perfect union between the two of you. They are convinced they are in a relation with you.
Although sometimes common sense kicks in that the two of you are not dating, however, they still contend ‘he loves me.’ They would say “I know he wants to be with me. The only problem is that girlfriend of his. I need to sort her out. She should stay away from my man once and for all.”
We don’t have a lot of Lelos (Amanda Du Pont) and Marothis (Macks Papo) in our society. They are extremists. These are real psychopaths. They like to position themselves as victims. They are controlling and sometimes they get physical. They always want to be around you. They’ll stalk you.
They just don’t understand the meaning of ‘I don’t love you anymore.’ Once you are in a relationship with them, there is no going out. They are stern believers of ‘until death do us apart.’ They even go to extreme measures to ensure that you don’t find a way out of the relationship.
They want you all to themselves. They are very strategic. They win the support and favour of the people close to you first. To your family, they appear innocent, meek, fragile, loving, caring and understanding. But behind the scenes, they become different people altogether
Pictures: Mika Stefano, Skeem Saam, Muvhango and Twitter