Not only is cheating engineering the emotional detachment between partners, but is also expensive to maintain, says Tilo ngwana Rashaka.
I’m one person who grew up having almost everything I needed. I’m not from a well-off family but my parents were brilliant enough to take care of me. Well, they had to, I’m their last born anyway, *Mmmm*
My father, in particular, was my hero. He took care of me as he provided financial and moral support to me. The little cents he got, he made it a point that I have the things that I needed in life. Even eight years after his death, he’s still providing financial support for me from his grave. I’ll never starve, never. Not at least in the near future.
Yes, like many other men, he too was also drinking alcohol but what I admired about him though is that as drunk as he was, he never forgot that my siblings, his grandchildren, wife and I have to eat.
Not at once have I ever wished for him not to come back at home at night. Drunk or no drunk, I will run to him as I see him approaching our gate and I know he will give me the little money he had. That’s how spoilt I was, if that’s spoiling.
He was a good man: quite, respecting, responsible and most importantly, he loved his family. Because I’m jealous and don’t want to share, I found myself lucky that I had my father to me and my siblings only. There was no outsider claiming to be my father’s child.
I never heard rumours of my father being a cheat, never. But I’m going to be open minded about it. The fact that I never heard my father’s name embroiled in a cheating scandal, does not make him all innocent. You’ll never know what people, in general, do in secret.
Yes, I come from a loving family with amazing parents, of course, but unfortunately not everyone can echo my sentiments.
Cheating is a reality and whether people like to hear it or not, is not going to fade away anytime soon. I know a lot of married partners that have decided to call it a quit because of cheating.
The leading manyalo artist from Limpopo who is a force to be reckoned with in the industry, Pleasure tsa manyalo, has a song popularly known as “nyatsi.” In the song, Pleasure advises against cheating.
Pleasure sees cheating as a consent between two people who come together with a common goal of cheating. In her view, of which I agree with, the two parties involved in a cheating affair are both willing participants in their own free will.
“Le dumelelane. Ka babedi la dumelelana gore wena o tla ba kgare,” she says. Simply put, Pleasure is saying A has agreed to be B’s nyatsi and vice versa, and I absolutely agree with that.
Pleasure has a message for the nyatsi “nyatsi weeeeeeee, shame o wa iphora.” Meaning, if you agree to be a nyatsi, you are simply wasting your precious time. History has it on records that nyatsi is only used to pass time.
I’m not going to go deep into analyzing the song. If people want to listen to the song, they can get themselves a copy of Pleasure’s vol 6, Banyadi CD or DVD in their nearest stores.
But I must admit I draw my inspiration from that song and I wanted to advise people to consider a few things before thinking of cheating.
- If you are a married man, for example, would you be able to support two families, your legal homestead and someone’s family?
- Do you want to support someone’s children while your own children don’t have school uniform?
- Cheating is not guaranteed and can end at any time. The nyatsi is not morally, ethically and legally bound to be with you to infinity.
- Because cheating is done is secret, if one party wants out, the other party won’t have all the strengths to go all out to seek back the material resources he or she invested into the affair.
- Nyatsi’s are bad news! They’ll agree to play cool in the first month of the affair but going forward, they’ll want other people to know of their existence.
- Nyatsi’s have deliberate tendencies of calling you in the night, sending dozen of text messages and pictures in an attempt to make you fight with your married partner.
- Often that not, people who are in a cheating affair are always watching their backs, not allowing anyone near their phones. In fact, they have activated security codes for their phones.
- For married men and women who are cheating, they are not interested in resolving their marital issues that may arise, knowing exactly that they have a re-bounce boy or girl.