By Mokgopo Tilo
Often than not, many people have to deal with their cheating partners. In many cases, cheating can get really nasty to the extent that couple lose respect for each other. For example, some male partners would bring in their mistresses right under the watchful gaze of their wives in a broad day light. As if having to deal with this unfortunate situation is not painful enough, their male partners would go the extent of asking their wives to cook for their mistresses and on top of that, ask her (wife) to sleep in the guest room or share the bed with their kids. Ijo! SORDID, I know.
Moopedi o mongwe ge a opela o re “ge lerato la rena le fedile se ka nhloriša. Go kaone ke boele ga gešo.” Ge a tšwela pele o wa botšiša o re “ngwana mma o tla kgona naa go robala le go tsoga ka meokgo ka lebaka la monna wa gago wa kobaobane?” Even though I describe the above scenario as ‘unfortunate’, many people continue to stay in such relationships. Why, the answer is not as clear as many people would imagine it to be. There are many factors that come to play when breaking this topic into pieces. The truth is I would never allow such traumatising experience to happen to me. Never! I condemn it today should it have the desire to happen to me in future. YES, even men do find themselves under such condition. Imagine getting up in the morning, going to work for your family and at the end of the day your many is enjoyed by some other man. Ke re segatamarokgo, mahlalela feela. Rakgophala wa peipi a ipheditse. It might sounds sensationalised now but the truth is such things do happen out there and they are very painful both to the person experiencing the treatment as well as to close relatives and friends.
What I realised is that people are entrapped by fear. They are apprehensive of what would happen to them should they walk away. However, while on it, many people fail to ask themselves the question of: “what would happen to me if I continue to stay in this relationship?” Ehe! O tla hwa ka stress nna re go botse batho ba šala ba ratana le go feta. Nonetheless, I should not be mistaken for advocating or canvassing for separation or divorce, but what should you do if your partner treats you like a piece of dirt? Sorry, but I’m one person who does not believe in abuse and exploitation. Don’t fool yourself dear, things will never get alright. The minute your husband or wife bring their lovers in front of you means they have lost a respect for you and is just an indirect way of saying “mma wee goba papa wee, nako ya lena e fedile akere. Le kgekotse, tshe nna re tswele pele.”
Okay, fair enough, this derogatory treatment I cannot tolerate anymore, just tell them. The truth is if your partner wants to take a second wife there is nothing that you can do to prevent him from doing so. He’ll continue either way. Alright, say you successfully manage to get a court order against their marriage; what good would that do? He’ll leave you for cohabitation sesi. A go na mo e letseng nna re go botse. Same applies to boyfriends and girlfriends, they will cheat, cheat and continue cheating ge o sa tsebe. You don’t have to play the detective role, watching your boyfriend-girlfriend moves, stress se tseleng!
Packing up your bags and leave your abusive relationship does not render you a failure. Tlogela bo mamgobozi ge ba dira mosomo wa bona. Taba ke gore go swa wena, esego bona. Actually, according to me, when you leave a loveless, abusive relationship, it shows that you are smart enough to realise that the commitment you investment in your relationship does not equate the output.
You cannot, no matter how hard you endeavour, stop your cheating partner. Just tell them there is no need to cheat anymore because you decide to call it a quit. When they want to take a second wife, and you are totally against it, bless their marriage and walk away. Don’t ever stand in a way of anyone to pursue their personal interests but the truth is, ka le lengwe la matsatsi, it might be after a decade, but they are going to remember your kindness and meekness, and ka ka ge segageso se bolela “maropeng a go boelwe, ya boela e ya….”