Watch TV with Tilo 1

GENERATIONS. 

You gotta love Generations’ Choppa. The man really knows how to spice up my night. When he appears on my small screen I know for sure that I’m in for a serious hilarious session. But dude, on a serious note, are you sure your I.Q. level is not dropping down?

Can somebody who knows how to choose his words carefully tell Priska to stop acting like a prima donna? I would hate to remind madame Priska that S’busiso rescued her from a pigsty with no Colgate to brush her teeth with and resorting to hobo tendencies of picking up leftovers at restaurants was her only means of survival. Now that she can alternate between margarine, peanut butter and Jam she thinks the world should dance to her tune. Oho! Se ka iša high blood ya ka godimo. E sa ile fase ke marega.

It is indeed exciting to see the self proclaimed untouchable mighty Ngamla shivering like a puppy due to the June-July extremely cold weather condition. Kenneth Mashaba is playing the cards close to his chest, and in due time S’busiso and Dineo are going to regret the days they were born.

SCANDAL!

Gone are those days when the Nyathi’s of Scandal used to boast about their powerful empire. I can’t pretend to be disappointed that the Nyathi’s are finally getting what they deserved. In fact, it’s long overdue.

The fake Daniel’s wealth was accumulated at the expense of many people’s pains. It is only right that he is left to suffer the consequences of his dirty games. But anyway, what justice is prison going to serve to notorious Shakira and Daniel except for separating them from the real world? I would like to argue that prison is actually preparing Shakira and Daniel how to become the bad versions of themselves.

Can somebody please give Dintle (or should I say Mrs Ngcobo?) a varam klap? It seems this lady does not want to learn. Hai, trouble!!!!

Calling Thembeka a bitch would be an understatement, in fact the title is too petty and undermines her capabilities. She’s a walking devil who knows how to bitterfies other people lives. Mmadika, watch out my dear. 

MUVHANGO

Gauteng is no longer the same. Muvhango’s Khomotjo has really vava-voomed the neighborhood and one can’t help it but just adore the queen of MMC. But be warned: you are accepting Khomotjo’s orange juice at own risk.

However, it seems the sun is slowing setting down on Khomotjo. I don’t trust this taxi driver. He’d want to take Khomotjo down with him. I’m waiting to see how Khomotjo would turn around the situation, she always has a plan.

But sesi weeeee, just because I’m speaking highly of you, does not mean you should be relaxed and continue wearing that same pair of shoes and it’s almost a year rocking the same hair style, I’M WATCHING YOU!

Hey wena sekobo sa James (With Meiki’s voice). Busi should stop acting like a spoilt brat and come to her senses. She’s no longer a child anymore and it’s high time she accept that James would not grow old alone.

Madi o moloi o beya mapheko! Suzan is a wise woman and according to me people should all listen to her instead of limiting her freedom of speech and choice. The Suzan that I know does not hold grudges and ordinarily she would have been the first one to rally behind Simon in his quest to seek forgiveness from the royal house. But because she can see right through him, she has concluded that he’s not worthy of her apology.

Instead of using the Thate super structure to deal with her, people should seek to see things from her perspective. I’m waiting for that day when Simon goes back to his old ways and I would be there to gloat while singing “you should have listened to Suzan.” Prepare my mic…

SKEEM SAAM

Mmalo mosatšana wa batho o tla re o bone koma ya ga mang? Ka nnete lehu o hwile la pitšana gobane la segwana le a rokwa. Taba tša mo Mankweng Turfloop ka nnete ge o ka di bjala le moroko di ka mela.

Mosadi wa batho Celia o swere thipa ka bogaleng o berekela yena le ngwana wa gagwe gore ba be le bophelo bjo bo kaone, fela kae, segatamarokgo sa go tsoga se fala magogo ka pitseng mola thaka di kitimišana le Shosholoza mail di nyakana le mošomo o mo tsenetše fase o mo dubiša thankga ka mahumo a gagwe. Ga o itshwabele ke eng Charles?

Zamokhuhle o gagamišwa ke go ba le mengwaga ye 18. O thoma go ithuta bophelo bja kompong le ditakaneng bja go tsoga ka sekala sa bjala le polara. Sogana weeeee, ga o dule fase ra go botsa tabana tsa gago? Gata ka dinanahla go se bjalo o tla welwa ke leru le leso.

Bjalo wo T’bos ge a kukumologile e re ke flouru ya go dubiwa ka maphoroma a bjala o re o dira bjang? Boy, o na le mathata wena. Ruri o phelela go goka mpherefere o iphetela ka tsela. O nyaka ntahle mahlo a gore o boele tseleng.

Tumelo Mothotoane’s stardom shines.

Tilo ngwana Rashaka Mokgopo

Talented Tumelo Mothotoane (23) has landed yet another exalted presenting job on SABC 1. 

She’s the new presenter of “One day leader” season 3 and the humbled and God fearing presenter has managed to keep the news to herself for months until the last two hours before she went on air. 

“[I’m] Excited to finally tell you my big secret. I have been blessed to take over from the talented and beautiful Masechaba Lekalake as your host starting tonight at 16:30 on SABC 1,” she said. 

Tumelo has a wealth of experience in presenting live shows. She’s the presenter of Sunday Live that has recently moved its time slot to 19:30 as well AM News (DSTV Channel 404 at 10 AM)

Tumelo’s TV presenting career kicked off at Soweto TV where she was hosting a woman’s empowerment show called “Sistas on Soweto TV”  

Those who follow her closely will tell that she makes presenting “look all natural”. She brings a wealth of experience to the production of One day leader and her bubbly personality makes all her programmes eye deserving. 

Tumelo holds a BA degree in Media Studies and Psychology from University of the Witwatersrand. Catch Tumelo on One day leader every Monday at 16:30. 

 

 

She slept with a lesbian woman for nine months thinking she was a man

Tilo ngwana Rashaka Mokgopo

According to the South African biggest daily selling newspaper, Daily Sun, Nobukhosi Ncube (27) has been dating a lesbian Skhakazo Ndlovu (28) for nine months. But Nobukhosi is apparently a straight woman and she thought Skhakazo was a man. 

However, there was something strange in their relationship especially when it comes to sexual intercourse. Skhakazo would neither allow Nobukhosi to touch his penis nor even see it. The only time they’ll have sex is when the lights are switched off. 

To make matters worse, Skhakazo’s penis was excessively big and hurting when inside Nobukhosi. It just didn’t feel like a normal penis. 

“The penis was too big and too strong. It was not like the penis of a human being.

“He wouldn’t let me touch the penis. I only felt something huge like an anaconda snake passing between my legs. 

“At night when we had sex I couldn’t see anything. I could only feel the penis dressed in a condom,” Nobukhosi told the newspaper. 

As strange and vague as the story may sound, it seems Nobukhosi was not going to question her ‘man’ about his dodgy behavior more especially that Skhakazo refused foreplay. I would have loved to know what happened when Skhakazo was bathing. Perhaps Nobukhosi was kicked out of the shack they shared together for nine months? 

Anyway, Nobukhosi’s misery was confirmed one day when Skhakazo mistakenly forgot to hide her plastic penis. Shocked Nobukhosi reported the matter to the Community Policing Forum.

When the Daily Sun contacted Skhakazo she claimed that Nobukhosi knew all along that she was a lesbian woman and remained silent when asked why she opted for a bigger sized artificial penis. 

Tilo says: Nobukhosi’s story lacks clarity. She’s lying to us all. 

How do you have sex with a person for nine months and still don’t know that she’s lying about her gender? If Nobukhosi was curious enough, she would have made other means to find out. 

Artificial penis is not as soft as a normal one, I would like to think. A normal penis is not always stiff. It bends now and then. 

Being a lesbian is nothing but a matter of sexual orientation. The fact remains that Skhakazo is still a woman and by virtue she would experience all the things that a normal woman would go through which includes going on a menstruation cycle. So Nobukhosi never experienced anything funny about pads and underwear changing colours? 

Even though some lesbians resort to hiding their breasts, they can’t permanently get rid of them and I’m sure Skhakazo is no exception. 

What about Skhakazo’s ID document? When it comes to ID you are either a male or a female, final! So Nobukhosi never saw Skhakazo’s ID in the nine months they’ve been together.

I guess Nobukhosi never bothered to ask why her man’s big penis never ejaculated inside her. I just want to get the logic of the story. Something is clearly not making sense to me.  

There are many loopholes in the Nobukhosi’s story that any rational human being would be quick to point out. O re tšea bjalo ka bana ba thari. Kgale a di rata ruri gonebjale o re botša maaka! Forgive me but I would like to agree with Skhakazo, Nobukhosi knew all along that she was dating a lesbian woman. I refuse to allow my I.Q. to be offended just like that.

Kwaito star Brickz down and out? 

Tilo ngwana Rashaka Mokgopo

He was the ‘it’ boy of Mzansi winning numerous awards while his CD sales reached multi-platinum standard. He lived in the best addresses of Gauteng and drove around in posh cars. His famous tune “Sweety my baby” rocked many corners of South Africa. 

Then, Brickz (real name Sipho Ndlovu) was a force to be reckoned with but now he is down and the kwaito star is reportedly back at his Kasi in Soweto. 

Weeks after news started doing the round that Brickz’s vault is running dry and that he’s unable to pay his legal team, Move! magazine has reported that Brickz is now staying in Soweto and recently the fading star had a traditional ceremony to appease the ancestors. 

“He stays in the same neighborhood as me and I often see him driving around in a small Chevrolet. Everyone is shocked to see him downgrading to a modest car because we’re used to seeing him driving big cars like Audis and BMWs. 

“He is now wearing Isiphandla following the traditional ceremony and remains humble despite all he’s been through. I actually feel sorry for the guy because it seems like life has dealt him a huge blow,” a source told the magazine. 

Brickz’s life of horror started last year when he was arrested for raping a 16 year old girl who was staying under his roof. It is alleged that Brickz threatened to kill the girl if she revealed that she was raped by him, an allegation Brickz strongly dismisses. He claims innocent and that he is being framed. 

The question that is almost on everyone’s lips goes beyond contemplating whether Brickz will be found guilty or innocent; to asking whether he will be able to overcome this storm and spring back to rebuild his shattered career that has recently took a step back to accommodate his highly publicized controversial lifestyle. 

Generations’ Mawande back to her diva tendencies. 

Tilo ngwana Rashaka Mokgopo

If the recent media reporting can be relied upon, then Generations signature face, Nambitha Mpumlwana playing the role of reserved and down to earth Mawande Memela is back to her diva antics. 

Last year April Generations boss Mfundi Vundla gave Nambitha a boot following reports that she’s been acting like a diva on set, ordering the camera men which angle to take when filming her and goes further to demanding her own changing room and exclusive food menu. 

However, it wasn’t long before Mfundi swallowed his pride and went begging Nambitha to return back to Generations to rescue the sinking ship. 

A Sunday newspaper was reliably informed that Nambitha was a pain in the neck to everyone around her at the Vodacom Durban July last weekend, demanding her exclusive food menu.  

She also insisted on using her own car to drive into the race course because she was a VIP and did not want to use the same entrance with “ordinary people”. 

Although her fellow actor Thato Molamu (Nicolas Nomvete in the soapie) interacted with the fans and even posed for pictures with them, Nambitha refused blatantly. 

“She even refused to take pictures with her fans. We wanted her to interact with people.

“But she said she didn’t want to interact with a crowd because they would be jumping on her and get her clothes dirty,” the newspaper’s mole said.

It is also reported that Nambitha pitched at the event with her son and a body and demanded to be given four tickets or she would turn away to attend a different event. 

In what could be interpreted as pro actively rubbishing off the media’s reports, Nambitha tweeted to her 42 thousands followers on Saturday: “They say that I don’t want to take pictures with you! Is it true? Tweet your pics with the hash tag #Nambithanl” to which her many fans responded with their pictures posing with her in different settings. 

On Sunday her fans rubbished off the report while expressing their supports to her. 

“Just read an article about you and just to let you know that I don’t believe that nonsense knowing how people like to twist things. Love you.”

“Journalists will try to find something to talk about. It there isn’t, they’ll create. But we will love you till the end.”

“Ignore them mama coz abayazi into abayithethayo!!! We will always appreciate and love yew (sic)”

Albert Mukwevho bids farewell to Muvhango plus the new Ndalamo.

 

Tilo ngwana Rashaka Mokgopo

Tragedy hits the Mukwevho family that will forever change the lives of its inhabitants.

If you are a fan of Muvhango’s hunk daddy, Albert Mukwevho (played by Ndivhuho Mutsila) please get yourself a jar of cold water to help calm down your heart for the week starting from Monday 28 July 2014 is set to be difficult for you as Mr. Bertie says his final goodbyes to you.

Ndivhuho was involved in the behind the scenes of Muvhango long before the then drama series of 13 episodes could hit the small screens back in 1997.  

But Albert is fit and healthy, so what could have led to his untimely death? Perhaps let’s just say Khomotjo does not take lightly to people stripping her naked especially in front of her worst enemies, Moriti and Lerumo. There’s more than enough evidence to prove that Khomotjo will do anything just to save her face and the queen of MMC seems to be up to her tricks again.   

Now that Albert is no more, the Mukwevhos are visibly left with no one to safeguard their family interests at MMC. The passing of Albert may be paving a way for his prodigal son, Ndalamo, to return back from the States to look after his father’s business interests.

 The story of axed original Ndalamo:

The role of Ndalamo was previously played by Mutodi Neshehe whose contract was not renewed back in 2008 because of his repeated failure to pitch up to work and showing less commitment to his work. 

Then, Muvhango’s heavyweight, Duma ka Ndlovu was quoted in the media as saying “Mutodi was called in to a meeting in February regarding his performance, he never took his job seriously, he was not committed and his performance was not up to standard. 

“It was difficult for the production house to take this decision but unfortunately they were left with no option because things did not work out between us and the actors.”

However, Neshehe had a contrasting story to tell, accusing the show’s creater of operating his business as if he’s running a spaza shop. 

“It’s like he’s running a spaza shop. Everyone is somehow related to him. That’s the other thing I don’t understand.”

He went on to add: “He is a bully and people are scared of him. His word is final. Don’t you ask yourself why he loses good actors every year?” Mutodi was quoted as saying. 

The new Ndalamo Mukwevho introduced:

According to recent media reporting, the producers of the popular Venda soapie have revitalized the role of Ndalamo which has been written off for six years but the only exception this time is that Lesley Musina who had a stint on e-tv’s Scandal will play the part.  

It is believed that Musina started shooting in May. News that there is a new Ndalamo in the equation did not sit well with Neshehe who still had high hopes of playing the role again. He poured out his broken heart to Sunday Sun.

“If they wanted me, they knew where to find me. They just weren’t interested,” he said. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Meet the man with 15 wives and 128 kids, and still counting…

Tilo ngwana Rashaka Mokgopo

According to the  Herald newspaper in Zimbabwe, a 59 year old Misheck Nyandoro has married 15 wives between 1982 and 2002 and is also a father to 128 kids. Three of his wives are expecting their bundles of joy and before this year sets down, he could take three more wives.

Had it not be the economic crisis that overshadowed the country in the early 2000’s, Nyandoro could be sitting on many more wives.

“I married 15 wives between 1982 and 2002 and stopped temporarily due to the unfriendly economic situation, otherwise I would have been talking a different story,” Nyandoro was quoted as saying.

But now that the Zimbabwean economic climate is starting to show a slight improvement, Nyandoro sees it as a perfect opportunity to marry again.

“Now that the economy has stabilized, if you come back next year you will find two or three more new wives added to the numbers,” Nyandoro said.

Nyandoro explained that having 15 wives is no obstacle for him to sexually satisfy his wives. In fact, he visits about four wives a night or if needs be, he gets down to the game during the day.

“I am strong and feel as strong as I was when I was 18. I give conjugal rights to an average of four wives a night and I do the duty roaster personally. I go to the targeted bedrooms one by one at night. This is my job.

“They are all catered for and you can see they are happy. When I had five wives and below, I used to give them two days duty each but as the number increased I changed my tactics,” Nyandoro told the newspaper.

He maintains that he does not use any magic. In fact, he let the newspaper into his secret recipe.

“When I am dealing with each wife, I tune myself to her age and demands so that we operate from the same level. What I do with the young wives is not what I do with the elderly ones.

“At times I don’t restrict myself to night only. When time permits, even during the day I do it. But again the reason I’m marrying two or three wives in the recent future is that the elderly wives are no longer much interested in sex.

“At times I am chased away or told to go for the younger wives.”

Nyandoro is not employed elsewhere. His family mainly relies on agricultural food and sometimes gets assistance from his working children.

“I am not employed. My duty is to satisfy my wives.”

His elderly wife has 13 children and the youngest has 7 and Nyandoro warns that the number will definetely increase in future.

Mountain or Hospital: Circumcision is circumcision, period!

Tilo ngwana Rashaka Mokgopo

This is simple; let’s not complicate something made so easy for our interpretation.

Circumcision will always be circumcision whether it was done at a hospital or up in the mountain. At the end of the day, the foreskin is being cut off. So where is the difference there?

Our 4-5s (Daily Sun language. Let me credit them accordingly. Plagiarism is a serious offence, I was told) are being ripped off the foreskins, simple.

In 2005 when I was only 13 years old, I wanted nothing but to go to the mountain. I actually wanted to see myself traditionally circumcised. But my story was different, it wasn’t one of those “you are not a man until you’ve went up to the mountain.”

At the end of the day, being a man has different interpretations. Some would say if you are not from the mountain that renders you less of a man. Others would say unless you get married, take a wife and have children then you are not a man enough. Some think that gays have no rights under the sun to claim their manhood. Others will tell you that if you fail to provide for your family (which includes sexually satisfying your wife); you are not fit enough to be called a man. So what does it mean to be a man? People will die still wanting to prove that they are men enough. You’ll never satisfy all the prerequisite requirements of being a man.

Anyway, back to my story, I just didn’t want to be left out. Almost all the boys I grew up with went to the mountain that year. So why not me, I asked myself? I ran the idea past my mom and even though she did not support it, she found herself pressurized by my consistence to the extent that she had to act.

The problem was that my situation was very complex. There was no way under the sun I was gonna go to the mountain unless if I went by myself without letting anyone know. My father passed away in May that year and only one month later I wanted to go to the mountain which was totally impossible, actually prohibited in my culture.

My mother was still wearing black but me being a naïve little boy I didn’t want to see reason. To cut the story short, I was finally convinced not to go to the mountain and I settled down.

Only six years later when the idea of going to the mountain was my least favourite, I went to a hospital for circumcision. Painless! That’s how I would explain the whole process. Of course they first had to run the HIV test and after I was tested negative, they went ahead with the process. I don’t know whether they could have done the opposite had my result came back positive.

My two eyes were wide awake. I was actually watching them doing everything. What they were doing was not painful to me at all except for few injections at the beginning of the process. But because they took time to finish off, I got tired and bored from everything and at some point I was detached from the whole circumcision process.

When everything was done and sealed, I was back to the normal me. No funny walk and you couldn’t have guessed unless if I told you what had just happened to me. Of course I must admit that I had to battle with the pains every morning when I wake up, that was the only time I had pains.

Going back to my opening lines, take me (from the hospital) and my friend (from the mountain) and let us compare our sticks. We are the same, our glans lay bare without the foreskins and both of us have sixty per cent less chance of contracting HIV or sexually transmitted diseases during sexual intercourse.

What is the difference there? As far as circumcision is concerned, according to me, there’s no difference, we are all the same. Conservatives would argue that going to the mountain is part of preserving their culture. And if you come to think of it, they are actually not wrong and we should accept their decision. The same way liberals would tell you of doing a cost benefit analysis and weighing up the options and the one that appears to carry a lot of advantages would be their first choice.

I mean who would say no to recovering under the comfort of their roofs while watching DSTV and eating popcorns?

A nine month old baby gives birth.

A nine month old baby gives birth.

Tilo ngwana Rashaka Mokgopo
Established only nine months ago, Julius Malema’s robust left wing political party, EFF, has given birth to a radical baby in Namibia. The new party is named ‘Namibia Economic Freedom Fighters’ (NEFF) and the party will contest the country’s national elections in December.
As Julius Malema said, “you can arrest me but you will never arrest my ideas.” Now it has emerged that Malema’s ideas of economic freedom in our lifetime have crossed the border to Namibia.
According to Epafras Mukwiilongo who proclaims himself “Commander in Chief” of the new party, the NEFF will be a robust anti-imperialism and anti-capitalism organization and would also oppose homosexuality in Namibia.
Mukwiilongo was quoted in the media as saying one of the reasons that prompted them to form the organization is to pursue the struggle for economic freedom for all the people of Namibia because the government in the country is “busy empowering the Chinese and Indians to destroy local businesspeople.”
Mukwiilongo and his deputy, Kalimbo Iipumbu are said to have been in South African on Tuesday to meet with Malema and other members of the Central Command team of the EFF South Africa.
EFF South Africa is expected to issue a statement soon.

Kenneth Mashaba is back, Dineo and S’busiso better run away.

Kenneth Mashaba is back, Dineo and S’busiso better run away.

Tilo ngwana Rashaka Mokgopo

Everyone knows that S’busiso is the man of the match. He owns the boxing ring. He calls the tune and everybody dances to the music. Many have tried to take him down but they have all failed in their pursuits, at the end the untouchable S’busiso always emerges victorious.
BUT all that is soon to be ancient history. Kenneth Mashaba is back in town and the former media tycoon is seeking revenge. But of course S’busiso is not only his prime target, his former trophy wife, Dineo, is also on top of the hit list.

When Dineo (played by seasoned Katlego Danke)and S’busiso framed Kenneth for drug smuggling because the two had their own ulterior motives although the then Mashaba media was the main target, little did Dineo anticipate that one day Kenneth will resurrect, stronger than ever, and come knocking on her door.
From S’busiso (played by award-winning Menzi Ngubane ) and Dineo’s perspective, the timing for Kenneth’s return is all wrong. The two are currently going through a rough patch with Dineo down and out of a job. She’s still recovering from emotional trauma caused by the recent dirty fighting with S’busiso that proved more worthless at the end.

S’busiso, equally, is having a hard time at home. Nothing seems to be going fine at the Dlomo household. Power hungry and opportunist Priska (played by Zikhona Sodlaka) is not helping the situation, in fact she’s adding petrol to raging wildfire.

With little Mngqobi in hospital fighting for his life, S’busiso’s attention is all consumed into finding a solution for his obvious favourite grandson. Family is very important to S’busiso; will he have the energy to deal with Kenneth Mashaba? I guess we’ll have to wait to see how S’busiso deals with Kenneth.
But one fact about Kenneth is that the man is neither a friend nor a relative to Satan, he is the devil himself. Taking Kenneth to hell would be useless. In fact it will only create more anguish for others because when Kenneth gets to hell, he will immediately rise to prominence and TAKE OVER HELL!!!

So my advice to Dineo and S’busiso is simple:

• Little Dinny, don’t hide under the table, Kenneth will find you. Rather, run away while you still can. Alternatively, you can give Ruby a ride to Jo’burg downtown to find the sharpest okapi. Believe me; she’s going to need it.

• S’busiso my boy, please bring Dr Chetty closer to you, she’ll come in handy. Check on a regular basis if you still have enough heart attack pills. And ooh, an important reminder, keep the pill bottle in your pocket, always. You’ll never know when the heart attack is going to strike.

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